Because Nice Matters

I don't believe nice guys finish last because nice guys always seem to end up the happiest.  How many times have you heard someone say at a funeral "Oh he was the meanest person and so ugly to others, but he had a good life."?

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:31-32

I've been told all my life that I'm nice.  I've been told that I'm the nicest person you will ever meet.  I very rarely have people who don't like me (at least that I know of) and it really bothers me when I know someone doesn't.  I know I should have that "I don't care what people think about me" attitude, but I don't.  I am always thinking of what can I do to help someone, or make life easier, or be a person that other people like.  I hate confrontation and don't see a need for it unless its absolutely necessary. 

I've also been told on several occasions that I'm too nice.  I've been told that I need to change who I am so I stop getting hurt.  I need to be meaner, tougher, and more bitchy.  People would tell me "Why are you so nice?  Don't be so nice!  You need to be a B--".  For awhile I thought maybe these people were right.  Maybe I needed to start being one of those mean, crazy girls who treat their man and others like @$*#.  Maybe I need to start adding more drama to my life so others don't take advantage.  And for a short time I was seriously considering a change.  But then I went to a store with my dad and found a sign that summed it all up for me: "Because Nice Matters."

I believe being nice matters.  Today I think it is hard to find truly nice people.  It is rare.  I see my niceness as a strength.  I see that being nice means I am actually stronger than people who are what I call "abrasive". I do not have to hide my feelings behind a personality that shows I'm a "tough guy".  I have no problem being vulnerable.

People ask why I am so nice to Peter after all he has done to hurt me.  And here is the reason: I see no need to be mean.  What's done is done.  We are over.  I do not see how having a lot of drama between the two of us is going to make a good life for Kamry.  I am always thinking of the future and I know Peter.  If I am nice to him, he will be nice to me.  I want to get along with Peter especially after I have seen what Josiah has gone through.  I have seen what parents who are not nice to each other does to a child. It is the last thing I want for my daughter.  I do not want her to cry every time she sees her dad.  I do not want her to not want to be with him.  Research has shown how important a dad is to a child's well-being and self-esteem.  Kamry and Peter have a wonderful relationship.  I would never want to jeopardize my daughter's psychological well-being for my selfish satisfactions.

I refuse to change who I am for someone else.  I refuse to give up being nice to others even if it means I suffer from others' meanness.  I do not believe that I have to be a bitch to have a man love me. I believe the man who truly loves me will love the fact that I am so nice.  He will not see it as way to control or manipulate me, but as a strength I have.  I refuse to stop being nice because I believe nice matters.