Josiah

I miss JoJo.

Josiah is Peter's son.  We found out Peter had a son shortly after Peter and I started dating.  It has been a rough 4 years where Josiah is concerned.  Oh how I still love him.



Josiah turns 4.  We had a Toy Story swimming party.

In losing my relationship I lost Josiah too.  Even though some people don't believe me, losing Josiah feels like I lost a child.  I do mourn for him and sometimes I even cry.  After Peter and I broke up I began to separate myself from Josiah just because his mother is so unpredictable. I was afraid that if he was in my care (without Peter) something would happen and I would be blamed.  I couldn't risk my job and Kamry over false allegations.  So I had to become very strict where Josiah was concerned.  Peter took this to mean I didn't love him anymore. 



My all-time favorite picture of Josiah. 
 

This past month has been very hard on me where Josiah is concerned.  His mother, out of the blue, has changed her phone number and has not contacted either me or Peter with her new information.  It like Josiah has completely disappeared from our lives.  This is very hard for me where Kamry is concerned because she loves him so much and misses him.  She asks for "JoJo" often and I'm not really sure what to say to her.  I'm angry.
I'm angry because that after years of Josiah's mother accusing Peter and I of not caring about Josiah I've realized that she is the one who does not care.  She does not care that Josiah has a sister.  She doesn't care about Kamry at all.  She only let Josiah see Kamry for about 2 minutes when Kamry was first born.  She wouldn't let him attend Kamry's first birthday, she made Kamry miss out on several holidays with Josiah, she doesn't have Josiah call his sister, and the last time Kamry was around Josiah he would have nothing to do with her.  It hurts my heart for Kamry.  Yet every birthday Josiah had, every holiday, every milestone Josiah had, and even Josiah's little brother's birthday, I would make an effort to acknowledge it by calling.  Every time she asked me to make a cake or help with the goodies for class or even to come meet his teacher I did as she asked.  And now she has taken Josiah away completely, with no warning, and most of all, with no goodbye.

 

Josiah was a sweet boy who said silly things and desperately wanted attention.  He was scared to swim but I worked with him so he could learn.  He hated broccoli but would eat it anyway because I tried so hard to make sure he had veggies.  He was helpful and caring and loved his little sister.  He was always wanting to buy things for her at the store.  He loves the library and to read books.  He likes to dance and loves zombies.  He loves Angry Birds, his little brother, and his grandpa's ears (at least that is what he told me.)  He hated to sleep alone and loved pizza.  He will always have a special place in my heart.

 

I hope that someday when Josiah and Kamry are older they can be friends.  I hope they can both understand that they were loved deeply by all of us adults.  And mostly I pray that they forgive the mistakes of all their parents.